Nerd Metal Fridays: Manowar

So this week we are throwing things back to what is pretty much the ur power metal band. With a string of bombastic tunes supporting high fantasy and Norse mythology derived lyrics, Manowar inspired an entire generation of socially-awkward young men to paint their conversion vans with bad fake Frank Frazetta murals.

They certainly worked with some of the greats while recording a string of Rated “M” for Manly albums throughout the 80s. Orson Welles provided the narration for their 1982 debut album Battle Hymns, with Sir Christopher Lee providing the honors when it was remixed and re-released in 2010. Even infamous large ham BRIAN BLESSED turns up to record narration on the Kings of Metal re-release in 2014.

They also hold two of the less useful Guinness world records, loudest performance (which they have earned 3 separate times) and longest heavy metal concert. Sadly, even in their 80’s heyday, they were not themselves nearly as manly as their cover dude.

There is nothing manlier, or more metal, than a giant oily guy, wielding a trident while crossing a devastated wasteland in a tiger and pitbull drawn chariot.
There is nothing manlier, or more metal, than a giant oily guy, wielding a trident while crossing a devastated wasteland in a tiger and pitbull drawn chariot.

Fun, but always a touch too self-aware, these guys deemed themselves the Kings of Metal all the way back in 1988 and have made a career out of Heavy Meta(references).

Frankly, this right here is enough to make me think that if that whole Christianity thing doesn’t work out, I’m pulling for Odin as my second choice.  Come on, zäftig, pissed off, redheaded vet who happens to be an operatically-trained mezzo-soprano? I am total Valkyrie material!

(sorry these guys don’t have a lot in the way of “official” music videos.

Let’s be honest, these guys never really caught on that the world kept spinning after about 1986.  Oh well, I have days like that myself.

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